As I see it

Sleep in Peace Momo

2012-01-06T08:31:00.000-08:00

I don’t even know where to start. I laid awake for the past two nights thinking about all the fun times we had together. All the conversations we had about life,about your mom and my dad, gone too soon. How no one else understood us unless they suffered the same loss; glad we had each other’s shoulder to lean on. And here I am, with no shoulder, no crutch,no Momo.

You being gone didn't seem real, to be honest I'm still processing it. It definitely took your funeral for it to sink in some. It wasn't surprising to see all the people who loved you; how much your family loved you. Saying good-bye to you was the second hardest thing I've ever had to do. I had to fight with my company I work for as to whether ornot your funeral qualified for bereavement time, because you weren't family. I told a friend of mine and she made an obvious point, she said “he WAS your family.” And you were, I called you bro and you called me sis. You were most definitely like a brother to me and I loved you like one, I've truly never loved a man outside of my family more than I loved you, with my whole heart. People asked me all the time why you and I never dated, and I'd always reply "I know I live in Kentucky and all but I'm not gonna date my brother."

I didn’t only consider you my brother but my best male friend in the world. I could tell you anything and I knew it was safe with you and it wouldn’t be judged. You were one of the few people who knew the real me, you could always read me like a book. You'd call and I'd try my best to hide a bad day or a broken heart and you would just know and say "what's wrong" and you'd talk me through it. You had told me more than once that there were things about yourself that you could only tell me. I kept your secrets, always will and I loved you with all of your flaws. You lifted me up every time I was down. You could make me smile no matter how upset I was. Losing the only man in the world that knew the real me, just isn't fair.

One of my favorite memories with you was the year my mom was out of town on mother’s day so I tried my best to make you this big home cooked Puerto Rican meal. The Pollo Fricassee was really good and so was the rice but the plantains or plantanos hahaha not so much. We tried like 4 times to get them right and burned the shit out of ourselves with hot grease. Either way it was a really good day. Your birthday party at Gameworks was another one of my favorites too. To see the surprise and joy on your face was priceless. I had never seen you so happy before and you really deserved it. Or Amanda’s birthday at PF Changs when we were all highly intoxicated and harassed our waiter for putting us at the coldest table in the restaurant. New Years Eve last year when you FINALLY taught me how to salsa dance to Rihanna. Or the story of how we met in the first place. We both worked in 24 hour banking and a crazy Mary Kay lady called and you got the call, she was looking for me and wanted me to sell Mary Kay. So everyday from then on you'd IM me, e-mail me or come over to my desk to let me know my Mary Kay, Cover Girl, Loreal, whatever was ready for pick up. Or when you moved in with me for a week. I almost made a blog about how horrible of anidea it was to move in with your best male friend. In one weeks time, you ate 18 of my ice cream sandwiches, left the TV and DVD play on every single night, not once did you put the toilet seat down, left clean laundry on the laundry room floor, sang as loud as you could in the shower, locked my cat in your closet for at least 12 hours, and you failed to mention to me when you moved out, lol. We also went to the movies and you wore my Kids Olympics gold medal around your neck and stuck your chest out at everyone so they'd see it :) I know there were more on the list but I can’t remember them. I would give anything to have that back and as much as I wanted to drop kick you then, I can smile about it now.

Sometimes I don’t think you realized how much joy you brought to those around you. I don’t know that you realized that was one of your many gifts in life. You were always goofing off always making sure those around you were smiling. I alwaysadmired how you excelled at everything you did. You never did anything half assed. You were a banker at US Bank, but you were always top 5%. You moved up to manager and your team was top 5%. You got into MMA and you put your whole heart and soul into it. You were an amazing poet, singer, writer, friend, uncle, brother, son, the list could go on. You over came so much in your life and I was always proud of what you had made for yourself. It hurts my heart to know I will never see what you could have made of yourself someday, because I know you were destine for greatness.

I will miss our pizza parties and Kat Williams marathons. I will miss you doing the butterfly to peanut butter jelly time. I will miss you making fun of me and my strawberry cupcakes. I will miss your incredible contagious smile. I will miss calling you a dirty Mexican and you calling me a dirty hillbilly. I will miss you making fun of the racks on my truck and me asking you how many tacos you’d had for the day. I will miss bee bopin’ (which I said the other day and immediately started crying.) I will miss posting ridiculous pictures of Kobe Bryant to your FaceBook wall. I will definitely miss our facebook banter. I will miss meeting up and watching basketball at the levee. I will miss our ice cream dates. I will miss going back and forth with you about that little gorilla lookin' man Manny Pacquiao (who I will be rooting for now.) I will miss your absolutely hilarious voicemails. I will miss our conversations via sametime(well I already did.) I will miss you singing you are my sunshine randomly. I will miss your Martin, Jerome in the house, impersonations. I will miss your hilarious impersonations of your daddy, whom I know you loved so much. I will miss your rants in Spanish that no one could understand. We didn't talk quite as much as we used to in the last 4 months as we did before. Man I didn't realize how much I missed you until now. A piece of my heart left with you. I forgot how much fun we had together and how much I laughed every single day with you.

I looked through some of our FaceBook banter for a laugh and I found that you told me you missed me a few months back and I didn't respond. Ugh it makes me sick. I didn't even realize you said it.

Some fun ones I love:

Jason Mojica Amy Hogan

U are the air in my lungs...the driving force in my soul.... a reflection of true beauty.. Besos xo,.

"Just walked into UDF and went hard buying milk..." -because you knew I hated when people say I go hard

"Hey my name is Amy, please allow me to tell it to ya!"

"I Heart u"

"HEY YOU WOODCHUCKS!!!!!!"

Amy Hogan Jason Mojica

Guerrilla neck lookin boi

Jason Mojica Amy Hogan

Feliz Navida!!! It's a Christmas miracle! luuuuuhhhhhh ya!

Amy Hogan Jason Mojica

Dear BFF,

I miss your face, big time. I think we should hang out one day. I fixed my netflix for you and everything.

Sincerely,
Your BFF

P.S.- Love your face.

Jason Mojica Amy Hogan

Just wondering why u hate me?

Amy Hogan I had 8 cupcakes.
December 2, 2010 at 9:01am ·
Jason Mojica Hahaha.... Amy Hogan<--- hot mess
December 2, 2010 at 9:36am ·

Jason Mojica Amy Hogan

Spanish thanks giving Dinner, Mojica home, Thursday,bring your green hat... nuff said!

Amy Hogan Jason Mojica

I have a surprise for you and it's electric!!!!

Jason Mojica Amy Hogan

THANK YOOOOUUU!!!!!!!

Jason Mojica Amy Hogan

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and sings it back to you when you have forgotten how it goes.

Your last message to me, one day before you died, will always stick with me:

"i see u got u a lil southern lover lol thats wassup i'm happy 4 u ma. he better not break your heart..."your achy breaky heart!"

I didn't even get a chance to respond :( I love you and miss you already Jason; I can't believe you're really gone. As long as I’m alive, your memory will never die. Your string of lights will always be bright to me. See you when I get there, but in the mean time say hi to my daddy for me.

When I heard you were gone I immediately thought of this song...

Happy New Year!

2012-01-05T12:09:00.000-08:00

I'm not the type to go on and on about New Years resolutions, the main reason being, I never keep them. I want to try and change that this year. I get so lazy and boring. I always float away from the things I love to do and just exist. It's time to change that up a bit. So I've created my bucket list (which grows everyday,) I've made some personal goals for myself, and I've chosen some things from my bucket list that I want to cross off this year. And it goes a little somethin' like this:

Personal Goals:

Well these are just that personal, things I've learned about myself over the years that need tweaking. Things I've decided I want to tweak for me, not for anyone else. Some of them are:

Get back to Crossroads
Know it's okay to not always be in control of everything.
Exercise. I hate that this one is EVERYONE'S resolution and I'm jumping on the bandwagon. But I'm 30 and it's about time I start worrying about how I eat, and heart health. I'd like to really focus on that this year
Do more of what I love. Be creative. Take pictures. Make things from scratch. Bake. Things like that.
GET OFF THE COUCH and do more of #3 and #4.
Volunteer, once a month, at least.
Always give hugs
People like compliments, give more of them.
Write more letters
Save and pay off.

Bucket List:

Write a letter to myself to open when I'm 40.
Bake something from scratch (make own original recipe.)
Go camping- I've obviously done this before but i want to go this year!
Skydive- I know, I know but I want to do it!! I think :)
Go an entire day with no technology
Ride in a hot air balloon.

My bucket list is so long I'll need to add to this one but it's a start. I think I might need to start a seasonal bucket list too. It's time to get somethings crossed off!

Happy New Year everyone :)

Citrus Body Scrub

2011-12-26T10:43:00.001-08:00

This year for Christmas I wanted to do several handmade gifts. I searched my favorite website (www.pinterest.com) for some ideas. I found a recipe for body scrub I haven't actually used it yet but it smells amazing.

Here is the recipe

1/2 cup olive oil or sunflower oil
1/2 cup sea salt
2 slices of orange
2 slices of lemon

Directions
Throw all ingredients into a blender and purée. I left a couple chunks of orange and lemon but not much. And you're finished!

Camp

2011-12-15T13:27:00.000-08:00

Today I had lunch with clients and it just so happens that one of my clients goes to the camp I used to as a child. She knew my dad and my uncle and everyone that still goes to the camp. I told a friend of mine that she said my dad was a very sweet man. Which of course made me smile from ear to ear. My friend didn't really understand what I meant when I said "camp." As I described to her what it was I was flooded with literally some of the very best memories I have. It was my childhood, it was a lot of what made it amazing. Every other weekend of the spring and summer going down to the river to swim, boat, tube, ski, ride on wave runners, play in our tree houses, play manhunt when it was pitch black out in the woods, the carnival across the river in Richmond Indiana, fishing, safety vest tan lines, tree swings, hammocks, go carts bands on July 4th (High Cotton I think they were called?)I got to share it all with my cousins who are all amazing. I remember waking up in the morning to the smell of bacon, eggs, goetta, and coffee and if the parents were really hung over from the night before we'd have donuts waiting for us. Bologna for lunch. Hamburgers, hot dogs, brats, and mets for dinner. Competing with flies for said breakfast lunch and dinner. My uncle always told us bed time stories. I always forget the cats name! My dad and the flicker fly. Fires on the beach. People jumping over the fire while highly intoxicated, or sober, it could have happened either way. Dance routines. Getting lost in the woods and attacked by rogue tree branches. Showers in the bathhouse that made you feel just as dirty as you did when you entered it. Daddy long-leggers. All out wars with mosquitoes.

"Take me to the place I love, take me all the way"

Mischievous Elf- Round 1

2011-12-04T13:32:00.001-08:00

This picture makes me smile.

2011-12-01T08:29:00.000-08:00

a lot.

Thankful

2011-11-21T06:06:00.001-08:00

Every year on in November I see people on Facebook postsomething new everyday that they're thankful. I always say I'm going toparticipate but I never do. So I'm making my own this year here.

First is obviously family. I'm so thankful for howclose we've become. They are mylife and I would do anything in the world for them. We have so muchfrickin' fun every time we get together and I look forward to the good timeswe'll have in the future.
I'm thankful for Stewart's Orange Creme Soda and BuffaloChicken Dip on a rainy Sunday. Nothing better than curling up on the couch with thosesnacks and a good movie.
I'm thankful for my very best friends in the world. Ifeel really blessed to have so many fun amazing men and women as closefriends. People I know I can count on, people who I know are real, whowould come running in the middle of the night if I really needed them. It's hard to find genuinely good people to have on your side, that I can go tofor advice and they will give me an honest opinion. I love y'all tons.

This is obviously not everyone :)

I'm thankful for the Internet. What would we all bedoing with ourselves if we didn't have the Internet, for shopping, games,facebook, google, etc. I waste a good amount of my life on it butwhatevs, I love it!
My home. I'm truly lucky to be a single female be ableto have my own home. I love it!
My car. Again lucky to be able to afford a new car, that has an ipod jack!(well I can kind of afford it, lol.)
My little munchkin butts. Call me the old cat lady, Idon't care. MY little babies love me no matter what. And I wannabite their faces off (in a good way.)

Carmex, without it I would be a crusty mess.
Gingerbread Chai Latte's
This one boy, that I met this year, that makes me smileevery single day, no really, everyday. :)
Pinterest- Its taken a lot of hours of my life lately, butI'm creative again because of it!
My camera! I feel at home behind it.

Books! I can't get enough of them.
Laughter- I had my share of belly hurting, tears streaminglaughter this year, and it is absolutely my favorite thing in life.
My new tattoo- a way to always remember, even though I would never forget.

Heat and A/C- a luxury most of the world does not have.
The Red Rocket! Who Dey! :)
My sister cousins! Without them I'd go crazy at family functions and in life in general :)
Music- It's helped me through so many things in life. It brightens a day or cries right along with you. It sets the tone of a road trip and provides a soundtrack to a real life love story. I love it!
My health- I've seen so many people fall victim to so many different diseases over the years. We take our health for granted but it's not promised. I'm thankful I still have it.
My new iphone! And Siri, who tells me anything I need to know at anytime. and Facetime! And everything I need in a little cellphone package.
The men and women serving our country everyday. I'm thankful for your sacrifice so that I can be thankful for all these things, without you it wouldn't be possible.
I'm thankful that a Crossroads is being built 5 minutes from my house!
Being able to take a way a lesson from everything. Over the years I've learned that bad things are going to happen, I'll lose people I love, I'll meet people, interesting people, boring people, bad people, etc. Each one of them has something to teach me. I just have to pay attention.
My big warm fluffy comfy bed.
Being able to travel, I've been fortunate over the years to see many beautiful places. I absolutely love to travel and experience new things. I know a lot of people don't get to leave their town and I've seen more than people will in their lifetimes. I'm very thankful for it.

Alcohol. Thatisall.
My parents. I think about people who have crappy parents and I wonder how they get by. I do. And I feel like it's not hard to see why people fail or do bad things. What do you do if you don't have someone there who loves you always? I am so fortunate to have that. In my case I had 4 people who just wanted to see me shine and did anything they could to help along the way. I thank God everyday for that.
My best friend forever. She's seen me through so much in the last 10 years and she is absolutely irreplaceable.

For life. To be able to live it and love it and be thankful for anything at all.

It was hard to sit here and make alist. Let's be honest I am blessed in so many ways I can't condense it toa list. If I'm hungry I hop in the car and go to the store and getfood. If I'm tired I jump in my warm bed and go to sleep, if I'm lonely Ihop in my car and go to my parents house, or my friend's house or cousin's orsiblings or wherever. If I'm bored I can go to the movies, out to eat,comedy club, ball game, wherever. I want for nothing, and if I do I havethe ability to work for what I want. I want to go the beach? I havethe ability to save money, get on a plane and go. I'm so thankful foreverything I have, this list doesn't begin to touch it all. Not just on Thanksgiving but every single day.

Always remember "No matter how good or bad you think life is, wake upeach day and be thankful for life. Someone somewhere else is fighting tosurvive."

Elf on a Shelf

2011-11-17T09:12:00.001-08:00

I ordered this on Amazon and received it in the mail yesterday. Apparently it's a Christmas tradition in houses around the nation and how I have not become hip to it yet is beyond me. I'm not sure what it's all about yet, I haven't read the story book that came with it. However I have seen photo shoots of the elf doing mischievous things around the house and I wanted to become a part of it. Be on the look out for photos of my new elf soon. Christmas is on its way!

Make your house smell amazing!

2011-11-16T10:11:00.001-08:00

I'm back! I know I haven't been consistent in this whole blog thing but I'm going to try again!

I've been using this website called Pinterest for the past 3 or 4 months now and I am completely obsessed. You can pin anything you want to different pin boards from the internet as well as browse other people's pinboards for ideas on anything from home remedies, fashion, weddings, decor, the list could go on forever. So in an effort not to just dream of the things I would like to do from this site, I tried a simple suggestion from it this weekend.

Boiling Orange Peels

Fill a pot or skillet with water and orange peels, sprinkle in some cinnamon and I also added some vanilla extract from Mexico and let it heat on low all day and it made my house smell amazing! Try it out!

fall

2011-11-01T18:13:00.001-07:00

fall by nagoha23 featuring slim leg jeans

Helmut Lang asymmetrical top
£140 - flannelsfashion.com

H&M slim leg jeans
£30 - hm.com

GUESS by Marciano strappy boots
$288 - marciano.com

Botkier genuine leather handbag
$327 - bluefly.com

Oscar de la Renta cuff jewelry
$355 - net-a-porter.com

Monsoon hook earrings
£7 - monsoon.co.uk

Basile ruffle scarve
$98 - forzieri.com

lazy

2011-11-01T17:52:00.001-07:00

lazy by nagoha23 featuring silver jewelry

T shirt
£1.95 - truffleshuffle.co.uk

Abercrombie & Fitch skinny leg jeans
$88 - abercrombie.com

Mid calf leather boots
$212 - coggles.com

Miss Sixty shoulder strap bag
$179 - misssixty.com

Roberto Cavalli silver jewelry
$2,160 - net-a-porter.com

Chanel sunglasses
£197 - sunglasses-shop.co.uk

Butter London 3 Free Lacquer Nail Polish
$14 - zappos.com

Hell on Heels

2011-11-01T10:00:00.001-07:00

Hell on Heels by nagoha23 featuring sparkle jewelry

H M printed tank top
£9.99 - hm.com

Current/Elliott denim shorts
$60 - theoutnet.com

Platform shoes
$95 - bakersshoes.com

Sam Edelman high heel shoes
$225 - tobi.com

Vintage style handbag
$2,295 - cultstatus.com.au

With Love From CA long necklace
$11 - pacsun.com

Giuseppe Zanotti sparkle jewelry
$595 - giuseppezanottidesign.com

M·A·C Nail Lacquer
$15 - bloomingdales.com

The Help

2011-10-12T08:42:00.000-07:00

I finally read it and went to see the movie. I LOVED IT. I’veheard nothing but wonderful things about it, and it did not disappoint. There are a lot of things that happened in it that really made methink. Things that I wonder if half the people who ‘loved’ the bookactually thought about. Did they think it was just a nice story or didthey really stop to think that these things happened in either their generationor their parent’s generation? I obviously know these things went on but Iforget how recent they were; how brutal. I’ve always been the type to besensitive to other people, try not to judge something I know nothing about. This book only reinforces my beliefs. People are quick to judge ablack family who’s on welfare or a black kid on the corner in over the rhine. While I do believe at some pointyou have to work your ass off and make something of yourself, who am I oranyone else to say ‘even though your great uncle may have had dogs turned looseon him for walking on the wrong lawn and being the wrong color. Eventhough your grandma was made to feel that she was so gross that she couldn’tuse the same toilet as me. Even though your grandfather wasn’t ‘good’ enough tosit and eat in the same restaurant as me, you have the same opportunities nowso get over it.’ We forget how long those things went on, and The Helpwas in a setting where slavery was long gone. This is 100’s of years ofoppression. Obviously in this area things are much better than JacksonMississippi 50 years ago, but let’s not forget how recent these things were. This isn’t just a story, these are thingsthat happened in real life.

I also just finished reading a book called The Water is Wide by Pat Conroy. It wasabout a school on an island off the coast of South Carolinainhabited by the Gullah people. They were slaves who migrated to theisland after their emancipation. The book is written by a white man whowent to teach at a school on the island in the 60’s. The kids at theschool were all black, there were two classrooms one for 1-4 and the other for5-8. None of the kids could read, none of them knew what country theywere in, their president, how to count, etc. This was the state of thingsfor a black school in the

United States of America

just 50 years ago. My mother is 55. While my mom was alive anotherrace of people was being harshly treated in the south. Does that reallyregister with you? Do we really understand that? People want toshrug their shoulders and say ‘I didn’t do it’ ‘what do you want me to doabout it?’ and to an extent I get that. I’m not suggesting we hand out 40 acres. I also understand that’s how this country wasbuilt. We stole land from Indians, weenslaved blacks, hell the Irish were hated at one point in time.

I have many black friends and I have many white friends, and everything inbetween. We’re all people who accepteach other’s past, culture and beliefs. They have no animosity toward the color of myskin and I have none toward theirs. Ithink at this point in time it’s about coming together. If I look down on someone for theircircumstance no matter what the color that makes me an ugly person. If you are a person of color and you have allof these preconceptions about what white people are then you’re just as bad asthe white women in The Help. The whitewomen in the help were conditioned to believe that blacks were dirty, orcarried disease or were beneath them. Theywere ignorant and passed this belief to their children. Blacks were conditioned not to trust whitesand that all were bad and looked down upon their race. This was passed down to their children. No matter what my family believed or what wassuggested to me by kids in my classroom in Kentucky, I chose what I believed from myown experiences. If you hold on to whatothers tell you, you should believe about a whole race of people, black orwhite, you are selling yourself short. You’reparticipating in the ignorance that was Jackson Mississippi in the 50’s. Might not be to that magnitude but in essencethat’s what you’re doing.

I see so much of this still in this area, I hear so many people tell me howgreat the book and the movie are, people I know would hold their purse a littletighter if a black man walked by. PeopleI know who refer to blacks and whites as “us and them” or “we and they.” Change started with a whisper in The Help nowit’s time to put away the “we and they”, and forget your preconceptions, think about the circumstances one may have come from. If we all sit in a circle and point fingers we’renot getting anywhere. WHITE ORBLACK! You be the person who makes achange, and see the reaction you get, it might surprise you.

Cheers to 30 years!!

2011-09-21T10:03:00.000-07:00

So I made it! It’sbeen 30 years! Instead of feeling dreadof another decade I am overwhelmingly thankful and hopeful for the years I’vehad and the years I have to come. Ithought I’d take some time and reflect on the things I’ve learned in my 20’s. Sort of like a “what I would have told myself10 years ago.” Here goes!

Beer is an acquired taste. And man does it taste amazing after a rough day.
Your family and closest friends are absolutely amazing. They should ALWAYS be your number one priority. In the next 10 years you’ll learn who’s real, who’s always going to care about the wrong things and who will be there for you for the rest of your life. By the time you’re 30 you will have the most caring, loving, genuine people around you; they will make you who you are today.
This world is SO much bigger than you. Your problems and complaints are nothing in the grand scheme of things. Count your blessings, not what you don’t have in this life.
You sometimes have to go through something truly tragic to learn what matters most in life. Losing your dad will be something you never get over. But every year you’ll come into your own more and more. You feel his presence in you day after day and his memory will ALWAYS be there. Without losing him you may have never found yourself.
You’re a little more country than originally planned, haha. Some of us go through life trying to be different. Maybe its rebellion, maybe some of us have a ton of phases, maybe everything you do, everything you’ve been has made you well rounded. But you are and will always be your daddy’s little country girl at heart J
Your mom, is the most amazing person ever made. She will be your solid rock through every ‘skinned knee’ of your 20’s. “Because I said so” is the MOST frustrating reason for anything, but it makes sense now. Hopefully when I have babies I can piss them off just enough so they love me to pieces for it later.
Moonshine is the real deal.
That whole ‘Don’t drink the water in Mexico’ thing doesn’t matter, why? Because no one drinks water there anyway.
It IS possible to wake up at 7:00am on a Sunday be completely hammered at 10:30am. I love tailgating!
You’ll learn the beauty in people who have gone through hell and back. Going to New Orleans and helping the people who survived hurricane Katrina 5 years after a the storm where people lost their families, homes, memories, neighborhoods; everything they knew, will teach you more than you know. People can be still filled with so much love, so much hope, and so much gratefulness for what they still have. You go somewhere expecting to be a blessing to someone, and you come home receiving more than you ever imagined. New Orleans you will FOREVER be in my heart.
To piggyback off of #10, loving others heals the soul. Be the change you wish to see in the world.
If the majority of your conversation is via text message, if he is only able to meet up with you after 8 or 9 or he isn’t willing to hang out with you and you family or friends, you already know the deal, no matter how many excuses you can think of for him.
Just because you know at heart he’s a good person, doesn’t always mean he’s a good boyfriend or potential husband.
No matter what you do or how hard you try you can NOT change who YOU are or who HE is. You should never have to alter your personality or behavior.
There are so many people out there that don’t realize the advantages they have. Some because they’re ignorant to them and others because they don’t want to acknowledge that their circumstances put them in a ‘better’ place then their neighbor. You will learn to never judge someone based on what your perception of them may be. It’s still a work in progress, I used to be one of those people who though my views were the only view to have. You’re small in the scheme of things. Your situation is not the same as ANYONE’S situation. What you view to be weird, or what you look down on, is more than likely something you know absolutely NOTHING about. Open your mind.
Stewart’s Orange Cream Soda and Chocolate will get you through anything and if it’s really tough, grab a bottle of Sangria.
You’llgo from being a sucker for a bad boy with a bad attitude to being a sucker for those real genuine good hearted southern boys.
There’s more to life than VIP in a club, booty shorts, and party rockin’ every single weekend. And thank you Lawd for that!
Your friends will grow up and get married and have beautiful babies and you will love them like they’re yours. Love on them and laugh with them, you treat your friends like sisters why not treat their babies like your nieces and nephews.
You can NOT please everyone.
If you don’t feel like going out, it’s okay to say no. You’re not going to miss anything. Promise.
CHASE YOUR DREAMS. It’s never too late to make a different ending. You’ll work well into your 70’s so don’t settle for what you’re doing professionally in your 20’s if it’s not what you love.
Find the highest thing you can and dance on it. The view is always much better, lol.
Always have a girl’s night with your closest friends. You’ll all become busy sooner or later but dinner and drinks with the people you enjoy the most always makes a busy week/month more tolerable.
LISTEN. People want a friend who slows down and really listens. Don’t be that person who is just waiting to tell their own story.
Reading books is not torture, it’ll will help you gain insight on the past, present and future. You’ll end up loving to learn once you’re out of school and not forced to learn certain things.
Your plans mean nothing. You may have a certain idea of how your life is going to be, who you’re going to marry, what you’re going to do on a big weekend trip, but there may be an entirely different plan waiting. You just have to be open to embracing it and enjoying it, no matter what it is. Do not be expectant.
Learn something from everyone you meet. No matter how long or short your relationship lasts. No matter how good or bad the relationship is. Everyone you cross paths with has something to teach you about life or yourself.
You’re never too old to do a keg stand, play flip cup, or laugh until you pee a little bit.
Enjoy every single second of your life. People will come and go, some will be taken too soon, others will leave unexpectedly. Never take anyone or anything for granted. Call that person you’ve been meaning to call. Go to your parent’s house on a random Tuesday night for dinner and silly sitcoms. Visit your grandparents. Tell your brother you love him. Hand write a letter and mail it to an out of town friend. Laugh at everything, smile through the rain, and somehow you’ll always get stronger when you’re on your second drink.

yum

2011-09-14T07:11:00.001-07:00

I had a dream last night that I met him at Caddy Ranch. We went to Waffle House afterward. *sigh*

GTL

2011-09-14T07:06:00.000-07:00

Okay I admit I'm not a fan of Jersey Shore, but I've heard enough about the plot and characters from friends to know pretty much what goes on in every episode. My cousin Jamie and I were reunited through a charity event for breast cancer last weekend, I say reunited because I hadn't seen her in over a month which is entirely too long by my calculations. We had a discussion and decided the only reason why we aren't Victoria Secret models is pure laziness.

I'm headed to Nashville in a week and a half to celebrate my 30th birthday. I know Thirty. Three ohhh. Can you believe it? Anyway my sun kissed glow from Mexico is long gone, have no muscles and I hate doing laundry. Don't get me wrong I wear clean clothes I'm just not on board with doing my laundry everyday. Jamie and I decided we're sick of being borderline hot we're going in for the real thing. This discussion happened four days ago and I'm proud to say I've been to the tanning bed twice since and I'm starting to show a color other than pasty.

I haven't wrapped my mind around the gym yet. I have to prepare myself. You can't just jump into something as strenuous as walking or running or lifting weights. I've decided I need to go to a gym again, maybe watch people work out for a few days first just to see how it makes me feel. I'm not going to lie I get tired just watching. In all seriousness, I know if I worked out I'd probably be less tired. I want to, I'm just afraid Urban Active is going to tell me I owe them $4,692 from the last time I had a membership there. They have a hard time canceling people's memberships when it's requested. I also have a large problem with paying a fee to pay a fee. If they ask me for a $50 enrollment fee so that I can pay them $30 a month I'm not sure how I'll react.

I've decided that 30 is about acting and not talking about acting. There are so many different interests that I have and good intentions that I have that almost none of the ideas I formulate actually reach any type of action stage. One step and one thing at a time.

Hilarious!

2011-09-13T10:06:00.001-07:00

It's no secret that I have a weird sarcastic humor. There's no way for me to curb it, and honestly, I don't want to. A co-worker of mine, who actually also happens to be my boss, introduced me to a website of quite possibly the most ridiculously genius man alive. I was really starting to catch up on my work here in the office until he showed me this site so now any question to my ability complete my work for the day will be essentially my bosses fault. There are tons of stories on this site and I can't quit reading them, no matter what deadline might be approaching. To enjoy the ridiculousness that is David Thorne Click Here. Maybe you'll love him, maybe you'll question my humor. Either way, it's brightened my days. It's really hard to chose a favorite but Simon's Pie Charts or Free Burton Snowboards are toward the top of my list. Enjoy

Innocent

2011-09-02T17:16:00.000-07:00

I heard this song last night for the first time and it hit me like a ton of bricks. This is SUCH a true story. Time flies.
Apparently it's the song that she wrote about the Kanye incident. I love it. It's hard to listen to. I see my reflection in it.

I. Love. Huskies.

2011-08-22T17:08:00.000-07:00

I stumbled across a video today that could help me if I ever choose to have a child.

However it could backfire.

so friggin cute

Truck Driver.

2011-08-10T12:06:00.000-07:00

Luckily I think I'm close to my breaking point at my job. I have never disliked something so much. Actually that's not quite true. The first position I held at this company I hated so much I almost cried when I had to get up and go to work in the morning. I'm almost there now with this job. I have to say it's not the company. It's not a horrible company to work for by any means. I also really enjoy the people I work with, well most of them. I HATE this job though. Here are some pieces of an e-mail that I received from one of my most admired clients.

"this is pure insanity." "which would have the exact same “rule” as the fund we are currently jacking around with." "his whole situation is a CLUSTER****!" "because of the incompetence of (I'll leave this out) and (and this.)" "I will encourage the client to take legal action if you do not."

This e-mail stemmed from something my brilliant client was supposed to do but did not. I love really nice people who blame others for their shortcomings. Especially when they're a client and you can't very well argue back.

This job is neither rewarding nor does it pay well. What am I doing here? Paying the bills I guess. I've decided today that pretty soon I will be doing what this lovely lady below is doing:

a female truck driver. I could do that right? I might need some phone books or some type of booster seat. Travel the United States with my camera, eat at local diners, go by the name of Emma Grace or something like that. I could listen to Hank Williams Jr, eat beef jerky, drink Milwaukee's best, wear a cowgirl hat, and honk at all the hot guys in convertibles. Maybe recreate Thelma and Louise without getting my semi blown up. I have to look into this.

end of summer.

2011-08-08T10:11:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe summer is almost over already. This year has absolutely flow by, which becomes more and more the case every single year. This has been my year to grow and I think that's happening. A lot of things have changed and gotten better for me. I still have a way to go. But I've found that everyone does. This is constant. No one is ever done changing and growing. It happens every year, month, week, and day.

I've also learned you can read a million and one inspirational quotes, but your life will stay the same unless you live a couple of them. Just because you handle things well, don't cry when life gets tough, and seem tough on the outside doesn't mean you are at all. Most the times you're weaker than the masses. Because you don't take chances; you live in your tough bubble where there's no risk and consequently no real reward. I'm willing to take chances again. Put myself out there. I look forward to what comes.

One more month until 30. Just the right time for a change of pace.

Week 2- Self Portrait

2011-08-07T09:12:00.000-07:00

This is a very lazy attempt at a self portrait. I was bored. So this is what you get. More to come.

new obsessions

2011-08-04T17:38:00.000-07:00

Recently I've become slightly obsessed with two websites I've just found.

The first one is called Pinterest.. I'm not even sure how I came across it but I can't get enough of it now. The idea is you pin different items from websites to different boards. I could be on any website and choose to 'pin' something. An outfit I like, recipe, design idea, hair style, nail polish, paint color, the sky is the limit. I can also organize those things onto different boards to make it easy to oragnize things for later use. I can follow people if I like their boards and the things that they have pinned or I can repin things of theirs that I enjoy. I ADORE it!

While using Pinterest I came across a website called Polyvore. You can create outfits and interior spaces just as you would see in a magazine. I have a ton of clothes but half the things I buy don't have matching shoes, shirts, etc. It's not a coherent outfit. I can't wait to use this site to put together somethings I might actually wear and feel fun and cute in. At a much more reasonable price than found on the site. Love it.

Cupcakes

2011-08-04T09:11:00.000-07:00

It's no secret, I absolutely love cupcakes! I also really like to bake and decorate and make cute things to eat. Now that I have a roommate and might actually have some extra cash I want to get back to baking and I'm going to focus on cupcakes. It will also be nice to have a live in taste tester. I found this website today to help me get started: Cupcake Project

picnic

2011-08-03T09:43:00.000-07:00

Does anyone go on picnics anymore? I think one sounds like fun and I fully intend to go on one before winter gets here...

Movie Montage

2011-08-03T06:11:00.000-07:00

The hats at Macy's can be pretty amazing.

Tired.

2011-08-03T05:41:00.000-07:00

I have been absolutely exhausted for the last couple months. I don't feel right or I guess 100% me. Unfortunately I'm thinking the job has a lot to do with it. I've always been the type to not take work home with me. However I think it's so draining that I don't really have a choice. There are so many things up in the air for me right now that I feel like I'm constantly saying "as soon as this happens" or "as soon as that happens" I'll be good. I'm sick of waiting for those things to happen. I think they're all close. I think I'm almost there. I hope those things happen for me soon. I just don't want to be tired anymore. I love being happy, silly and fun. I guess good things come to those who wait. I'm still patiently waiting...

Roomies

2011-08-02T12:44:00.001-07:00

I have a roommate for the first time in 5 years. Wish me luck...

Week 1- Kenton County Fair

2011-07-21T16:51:00.000-07:00

I went to the Kenton County Fair down the street from my house this past weekend as my first photo project. Nothing groundbreaking I just wanted a reason to get my camera out of its carrying case. I also have this obsession with all things country. However this fair was not nearly as country as I expected. Yes it featured a tractor pull, yes it there was a bluegrass band, people where wearing work boots in 80-90 degree weather, etc. I think my problem was I was picturing Sweet Home Alabama with the country band playing and people dancing with Christmas lights hung all around, etc. Then I remembered I'm not in Texas or Alabama. I'm in Northern Kentucky. I enjoyed myself, however I'm in need of something just a bit more authentic. Good news is I got to go to Sharky's for some blueberry ice cream at the end of the night!

FNL

2011-07-18T07:09:00.000-07:00

I have a new obsession. It's not my fault. I watched it until 3am Saturday and all day Sunday. I now need to move to Texas and live on a farm with Matt Sarason (and if he's not available I'll settle for Tim Riggins.) I know I'm late but I absolutely love this show.

Mohegan Island

2011-07-15T09:55:00.000-07:00

A lot of times when I can’t tolerate looking at banking/trust information anymore I take my ‘smoke’ break. You know the smokers of the office get a 20 minute break every hour or so, so I do the same only I’ll research vacations I can’t afford or look at feature presentations at the drive-in for the weekend, etc. Today I received an e-mail about five All American Islands to visit. The last one featured was my favorite. It’s in Maine, it’s called Monhegan Island. I hear wonderful things about Maine, however, the furthest north I’ve ventured is New Jersey.

Here’s the Inn I found that I think I’d want to rest my head: Island Inn Mohegan

I’d love to spend a long weekend there with my camera, a couple of books, and my laptop. Wow look at me, I went from a long weekend in Vegas, with my vodka and stilletos to a quiet weekend in Maine. Such is life…

benign

2011-07-14T08:41:00.000-07:00

Those are the best words to hear when you or a loved one has a tumor removed from your body. My uncle text me today to let me know that my aunt's tumor she had removed from her thyroid was in fact benign. It's weird. When someone goes through something like that I assume the best. I think a lot of people assume the worst. From the time she found the tumor to the text message I just received I prayed but I didn't worry about it being cancer. I didn't worry about my mom either. Not even my dad at first. However, I can say, an overwhelming wave of relief fell over me when I read that text message. Because I know what cancer is now, and I know what it does when you least expect it. I felt that same wave of relief when my mom's radiation was complete.

This disease has changed my life, without ever having it myself. That's how powerful it is. I think the word benign is just as powerful. I love my aunt, after hearing that she's a-okay, when she may not have been, I love her that much more. I can't wait until she's all healed up from her surgery so that we can celebrate life some more. A 'benign' party is already in the works...

Miche

2011-07-14T05:59:00.000-07:00

I was waiting at the bus stop yesterday after work and a woman standing next to me had a Miche bag. I've never heard of them before but it was hard not to notice. She had the one on the top right. Here's a bigger picture

With all of the people that I've known to battle cancer, some who lost some who won, I'd really like to carry one. Here's a little bit more about them:

"When you first see them, you will notice the designs for the various Hope Shells focus on actual quotes collected from many individuals who have been through the fight against cancer. When you purchase one, you will see a tag attached to your Hope Shell containing a picture and personalized quote by very special person who has fought and won their own personal battle against this disease.

Project Hope is now in its second year, and Miche is committed to continuing donating a portion of the proceeds from the sale of every Hope Shell to cancer research facilities all across the country. The Miche Bag team is 100% committed to Project Hope. We invite you to join us in sharing the inspiring message Hope has to offer as we strive to give back and make a difference in the fight against cancer!"

Click here to purchase one

Go Nola 2011

2011-07-13T11:30:00.000-07:00

Any interest in seeing what goes on in New Orleans during Crossroads' mission trip? Check out this link for pictures...

Go New Orleans 2011

Trouble the Water

2011-07-13T05:38:00.000-07:00

I know I said a few days ago that I would need distractions from New Orleans in the next couple of weeks. Last night I watched a documentary on Katrina, yeah, not such a great distraction, but an amazing documentary none the less.

As much as I miss it there. As much as Brian Girton's pictures of creole food at Jacques-Imo's makes my heart ache. As much as seeing pictures of work sites, po boys at Mother's, Pastor Luter and FABC, makes me feel a little bit empty... I'm happy to be reminded that I had the chance. That I was there, that I made new friends, I made a woman smile who hadn't had the capability in years. I danced to those brass bands, I wiped away tears, I saw a city who had so much hope after such tragedy. Who hadn't given up, when their government had, 5 years later. I'm reminded of the positivity that resonated everywhere I went. This city was beaten down to an extent that you didn't even see in a documentary as raw as Trouble the Water, I wish I could make you feel the life they ignited in me. I think that's what I miss, how alive, how happy, how positive, how amazing these people I came to help, ended up making me feel.

However instead of making it drag me down, I'm going to remember that feeling I had in New Orleans and I'm going to remember what I told myself when I left there last year. I will carry it on in my day to day. I'm sad because I can't take a trip to Nola, they were sad because they lost everything they knew. I will find peace in the fact that we still are making trips down south to love on people that need it the most. I'll be sure to make the trip next year, to be a part of something way bigger than me...

.painted on the side of a home in the lower 9th.

Week 1 Photo Project

2011-07-12T08:09:00.001-07:00

will be shot at....

Here's the line up of events:

5:30 PM . Family Barnyard Fun Night

7 PM. . . . Children’s Pedal Tractor Pull – (Reg 6:45 PM)

7:30 PM. . Open Contest Horse Show (Reg. 7 PM.)

7:30 PM. . Truck and Tractor Pull

1) PRO FARM TRACTORS

2) HOT STREET DIESEL TRUCKS

3) OUTLAW DIESEL TRUCK

4) HOT FARM TRACTOR

5) STOCK II 4×4 TRUCK

8:30 PM… EARL’S GONE WILD—Blue Grass
(In Beauty Pageant Pavilion)

I'm excited!

My Sister's Keeper

2011-07-12T07:13:00.000-07:00

I finished reading My Sister's Keeper last night by Jodi Picoult. Aside from the fact that the book, in the end, was far more depressing than I thought possible, there was a line at the end that hit home. It reads:

"You want your child to have more than you ever did. You want to build a fire underneath her and watch her soar. It's bigger than words."

I think I should be soaring by now, but everyone has a different pace. I am working on this more than I could tell anyone. I don't know if it's more for me now and personal satisfaction or if it's for the one person that has been trying to light that fire all along, my mom.

Feeling a little like this lately...

2011-07-11T13:12:00.000-07:00

Hoping the rain passes over soon...

New Projects

2011-07-11T06:00:00.000-07:00

I've always loved photography, which isn't new to anyone. However, I don't do it enough. I also only took a few classes in college to learn about it. None of which were on a digital camera. I know how amazing photos can be if you know what you're doing. I believe I have an eye for it, but I know there is a TON of things to be learned about it. I've thought about going back to school for it. The thought of another 30k in student loans is less than appealing right now. So I've decided that one big thing I'm missing is practice. Each week I'm photographing something different. It could be as simple as something in my home or a day trip to Rabbit Hash. I also am going to do a self portrait once a week for a year to see the change time and circumstance bring. I have several photography books that I saved from classes I took 10 years ago. Those will be read from start to finish. This post also serves as a word of warning to those I see and hang out with the most. My camera and I might get on your nerves for the next 365 days. Fair warning.

First things first, I need a new flash...

New Orleans

2011-07-10T15:07:00.000-07:00

The first group of folks have made it safely to New Orleans. Facebook is torturous right now. I am really wishing I was leaving on Saturday. I'm more than bummed about it. I love that place. Love the people. Love the feeling it brings to help such positive amazing people. I can't say I'm not happy for the people that worked their butts off to raise the money to be able to go. I'm just going to need a way to keep my head up for the next couple of weeks. Distractions welcomed :)

Swimmers

2011-07-10T11:14:00.000-07:00

Every month my closest friends and I have a ladies night. Yesterday we started out during the day and spent the day at the pool with the kiddies. I had a ball. I was the world's most enthusiastic swimmer at the age of 8. I don't know if that was the exact age but somewhere around there I had my very own set of gills. It was fun to be at the pool with kids again.

Baby Feet

2011-07-10T11:10:00.000-07:00

I had a dream last night about baby feet. It was really weird. Wonder who has a set of baby feet growing in their belly and without knowing it yet. I know it's not a possibility for me and last time I had a similar dream it was my cousin. hmmm....

Pink Cowgirl Boots

2011-07-08T20:08:00.000-07:00

no funnel cakes?

2011-07-08T20:06:00.000-07:00

I've decided to combine my photography blog with this one. There are way too many to keep up with and no need to have separate ones. Tonight I went to the St. Thomas festival in Fort Thomas with the fam. My uncle Greg was playing base guitar as part of the entertainment for the evening. I decided that I need to take my camera with me more places because I get no practice behind it.

We drove past my grandma and grandpa's house on the way to the festival. Okay so it's not a house anymore and neither of them are with us anymore. The house burned down years after my grandmother passed away and my grandfather had moved out. So now it's grass and I'd be lying if I said it weren't depressing to look at. I also lied when I said it's grass, it's a garden and trees for the two houses that used to be it's neighbor. My warmest memories were in that home. Sucks that it's not there anymore.

Anyway so the festival. I immediately see my aunt Judy. She is my dad's mom's step-sister's daughter, yeah I know, figure that one out. Either way I've been planning a family reunion with my dad's family and hers'. She works for the church. She's great.

I really like family events like this because it reminds me of the good old days. My grandmother was my favorite, she worked as a lunch lady at St. Thomas. My cousin Beth and I heard a rumor that her picture was hanging in the lunch room so we had to go check it out. This is what we found...

I remember going to the cafeteria with her sometimes, I felt pretty special that I got to go to a different school and hang out behind the concession line. It was fun to see her picture hanging there so many years after she'd left.

A fun night was had by all, just a couple more pics from the night...

Gypsies

2011-07-08T12:57:00.000-07:00

I want to learn more about them. I have this idea of what they're like and from my idea, I might want to be one or maybe I already am one. I could be totally wrong though. I'm going to start researching them, then I'll get back to you with my decision.

Bucket List -- Part Uno

2011-07-08T07:27:00.000-07:00

So I searched for my bucket list last night to no avail. So I'm going to need to create a new one. The first things that pops in my head when I think of my lifetime bucket list is something pretty simple, I think. It's sailing. I have no idea why but I've always really wanted to go sailing.

Okay maybe that boat is over doing it. I'd settle for something like this or maybe even smaller.

I just think it would be great to be in the open sea with nothing but the sun and wind on my back, well, a bathing suit too. I already have boat shoes so I'm pretty much all set. If you know anybody who knows anybody with a sail boat let me know. I need to cross this one off my list!

The second one that jumps on and off of my bucket list is skydiving. Okay I know it's crazy. I've always been the one to say "I'm not jumping out of a perfectly good airplane." But I have more than a few friends now who have done it and they all loved it (obviously none of their parachutes malfunctioned.) So now it's kind of like sticking my tongue on the positive and negative terminals of a 9 volt battery when I was little. I know it's gonna feel really weird and it gives me the heebie jeebies but I want to try it just to see what it feels like. Just to see. I'm currently negotiating with myself to officially put it on there.

doesn't it look kind of amazing??

Bucket List

2011-07-07T12:33:00.001-07:00

I know I created a bucket list at the beginning of the year. I think it was more of a 2011 bucket list than a lifetime bucket list. I'd like to create both again. I'll have to find both of those tonight. Post them. Cross some things off.

Brene Brown

2011-07-07T09:46:00.000-07:00

I have a new professor/author/nationally renowned speaker on my radar. Crossroads used a clip of one of her seminars to talk about courage and imperfection. She seems to speak about things I might be interested in. Her book The Gifts of Imperfection is now on my amazon wish list; I can't wait to read it.

This is her website: http://www.brenebrown.com/

We'll see

Friends with Benefits

2011-07-07T08:19:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to see a pre-screening of the movie Friends with Benefits. I know I know romantic comedies are all the same, and you're right they are. Somehow I always end up getting sucked in, sometimes ending up disappointed and sometimes pleasantly surprised (call me a hopeless romantic, I won't deny it.) This time I was pleasantly surprised. I really liked this movie. It was a lot funnier than I thought it would be. More silly funny than anything. I'd wait until it comes out on DVD though, only because I only usually see highly anticipated movies or action movies in the theater.

Funny how women watch these movies and daydream about it happening to them. I can't say I'm not one of them from time to time. I think we lose sight of the little things though if we believe one day someone is going to set up a flash dance to earn our love. Whatever. Don't act like I spoiled the end, you know in the first 12 minutes of the movie how it's going to end. Real life doesn't happen exactly like the movies, but it could be something like them if you let it...

teacup update

2011-07-05T15:37:00.000-07:00

I did a little research and found that tea cup pigs don't stay cute and cuddly.

They turn into these hairy beasts:

Soooo it's a no for a new pet idea.

sad story...

2011-07-05T08:28:00.000-07:00

Late last week I was at my mom’s house working on a DVD of a recent vacation. My sister and I were laughing and acting ridiculous as usual; excited to go through our Mexican vacation pictures. My mom walked in the room and told us that our brother’s long time friend and best man in his wedding had committed suicide. I was shocked to say the least. I had met him several times. My brother would have house parties that he attended, always seemed like a really nice guy. I didn’t know anything about him however.

My first reaction to suicide is ‘what a selfish asshole.’ I’ve always thought that things can NOT be that bad that you take your own life and leave those who love you wondering what they did wrong. Could they have stopped you? Were they not enough? Why wouldn’t you just sell all your possessions and move to a beach of the coast of Mexico or Belize. Anything has to be better than death. I felt horrible for my brother but felt angry with his friend.

Friday after work I decided to pick up a bottle of my brother’s favorite whiskey and drop it off to him. My dad used to call whiskey his ‘medicine’ and I think my brother has followed in his footsteps on that one. Anyway my brother started to talk about his friend. About his background, upbringing, and how he’d been in the last 15 years they were friends.

He grew up in New York as an only child in a home without his father. His mother was never home; too busy with work. He had several failed relationships in his adult life because he absolutely didn’t want children. He had extreme highs where he was an amazing person to be around, but when he got depressed he was really depressed, he kind of went in his own little bubble and sulked. I understood this personality because I too have a friend with the same types of traits.

Over the long weekend I thought about it more and more. What would I do if I didn’t have my brother, sister, my mom, my step-dad, my step-mom, my father growing up, my cousins who are like my sisters, aunts and uncles that love me like their own. Where would I be? Who would I be? When life got tough and I didn’t have all of them as my backbone what would I do? I’m not in anyway condoning what my brother’s friend did. However, I can no longer judge it. Anyone I know and love is welcome in my family and my family of friends. I’ve always said the more the merrier. But when it’s not actually yours I get it. However there is a point when you should open your heart to people who are willing to love you to life. Life can get better, if you let it.

What's for dessert??

2011-06-30T09:27:00.001-07:00

I have a really busy day at work today and it's full of horribly boring finance and mind numbing buys, sells, markets, shares, securities, gains, losses, blah blah blah blah blah. Sometimes I just need to take a break and think about cupcakes so that I don't lose my mind. So that brings me here to explore the options of baking this holiday weekend. A lot of times I think I should have either owned my own bakery or done photography. Those are the things I love. So here are my options....

Red Velvet Cupcakes with Cream Cheese icing? Okay so they're not all cupcakes but this has always been a crowd favorite. Strawberry Shortcake, I can add some blueberries and it's all set. These look pretty great. Strawberries dipped in white chocolate, with either blue sprinkles or blue food coloring. More cupcakes!! Chocolate with cream cheese icing, topped with strawberries and blueberries. yummmThese look the funnest but I'm not sure I'm on board with the ingredients. Strawberry or Cherry Jello, pudding, Blueberry Jello, whipped cream topped with blueberries, strawberries and raspberries. Not to sure about that.

I've been put in charge of desserts for not one but two parties this weekend. Which looks best??

If you need a laugh....

2011-06-30T06:08:00.000-07:00

and we share the same sense of humor...

My Old Kentucky Home

2011-06-29T07:45:00.000-07:00

I've scheduled my vacation for my trip around Kentucky! I'm really really excited about it. October 7th-11th, I have five days to drive through as much of Kentucky as I can. So far I've had one suggestion for a place to visit. I'm looking for scenery like this and old small towns with tons of character. We'll see what I can find!

TEACUPS!!!

2011-06-29T06:52:00.001-07:00

These two little gems are my new obsession and I might not stop until I get one of my own. I've already taken the liberty to name her too. Talula. This is a name that I thought I reserved for a dog until I spotted these teacup piggies in a magazine. I NEED one! To be continued...

We're getting married!

2011-06-28T12:52:00.000-07:00

he just doesn't know it yet :)

love this...

2011-06-28T07:35:00.001-07:00

'Come to the edge,' he said.

They said, 'We are afraid.''

Come to the edge,' he said.

They came.

He pushed them...

And they flew.

You are not what you think...

2011-06-27T08:59:00.001-07:00

I've finished the book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, but I'm still thinking over some of the ideas in the book that I really liked.

Miller talks about a friend of his, who was focused on work instead of family. When his wife had a baby he was amazed by her. His whole perspective on marriage and family changed and his focus changed to his wife and child instead of work. Miller asked his friend how his wife felt about her husband's new found amazement with her. His friend stopped and thought that he hadn't actually told her, he said "I guess I figured she knew." Miller goes on to say:

"And that's the first time I realized that the idea a character is what he does makes as much sense in life as it does in the movies. I thought about my friend's story from his wife's perspective. She only knows what he says and what he does, not what he thinks and what he feels. I'm sure his wife picked up on his new found enthusiasm, but it did help me realize the stories we tell ourselves are very different from the stories we tell the world."

I am guilty. This is something I've been working on gradually over the last few months. I always think up all these grand things I could do for people. Few of them I ever act out. I think and feel all these wonderful things of people, but I don't always show it. I'm guarded for sure, which makes me look entirely different on the outside than what I feel on the inside. The first thing I thought to say was 'people who know me well, know the real me,' but do they? Or do I really want people who don't know me to think I'm mean? Not really. I don't know how many times I've heard, "I thought you were mean the first time I met you." Not great. You are what you do. Very simple concept and almost a no brainer on the surface, but if you think about it, it's deep. Time to switch up some things.

Moonshine

2011-06-27T07:38:00.000-07:00

I had some this weekend for the first time. There's a good chance I'll have to start shaving my chest from here on out. WOW. Maybe it's not as bad if you don't mix it with other types of liquor, or maybe it's just always that bad. I'm not sure if I want to try it again to find out.

Missing Nola...

2011-06-27T07:35:00.000-07:00

You Don't Know Jack

2011-06-27T06:44:00.000-07:00

I watched this movie last night and really liked it. We started a small debate about it in the office when he passed away and no one seemed to want to touch the subject. I think it's a fine line. I do not disagree with what Dr. Kevorkian did for his patients. In the movie you find he turned away several patients who were clinically depressed or in the very early stages of a terminal illness. He didn't assist people who didn't want to live anymore. He only assisted those who could not physically bare the pain the endured every single day; people who were no longer 'living.' He made good points too in saying that people on life support can pull the plug and essentially starve to death, but they can't make the choice to euthanize themselves. The fact that the procedures were done in vans and hotel rooms is obviously less than desirable. Either way I'm not 100% sure where I stand on it. Even if Dr. Kevorkian had the best of intentions, I don't think if this were legalized that every doctor would have the best of intentions with it. So as he was trying to legalize it because he believed doctors and insurance companies were greedy to keep people alive who were no longer 'living' and were sticking their families with the bill. He may have created a new monster by having it legalized. I can see it being abused and very expensive. Jury is still out on this one...

I'm not looking...

2011-06-22T09:54:00.000-07:00

I'd say something deep and profound in this post if I thought it were the right time...

Wishin' I was still here...

2011-06-20T17:32:00.000-07:00

Witnessing Love and a message from above...

2011-06-19T12:07:00.000-07:00

Last night was my step-sister Megan's wedding. It's so cliche to say 'aww they're so in love' 'you could just tell how happy they are,' etc etc. It's true though, I'd put them up there with the top 3 weddings where you could feel love in the air. There's obviously love in the air at every wedding, they just kick it up a notch. Megan is one of the most amazing people I know. There's only one other person that I know that I would put on her level. You never hear anything mean come from her. She's always smiling and uplifting. She's just radiant, and not just on her wedding day. Her mother is amazing and her grandmother was amazing and she's taken their best qualities and has become the type of person we strive to be. She met Josh at the church his parents own and they haven't looked back since. She looked gorgeous on her special day and truly deserves all the happiness Josh brings her.

I was nervous about the day knowing my dad would be missing. My dad had been in Megan's life since she was 8 and I know she thought of him as a second father. I can't say it wasn't hard to see another man walk behind my step-mom to her seat at the start of the wedding, but I understand. Seeing her move on reminds me that life goes on. The world doesn't stop in hard times. We have to be strong, miss our loved ones and keep going. Judy has always been a phenomenal woman, whom I have always looked up to. Even though this situation is difficult for me to handle, she's teaching me, guiding me, even though I'm not completely on board; I get it. Why would she just lay down and die because her husband is gone; taken too soon? There's a lesson to be learned from it.

At the reception Megan shared an amazing story with me, that taught me something even more important. Judy had a dream the night before the wedding, she said she was sitting in the sanctuary all dressed up and ready for the wedding to begin. My father walked up and sat next to her, in his suit and tie freshly shaved and his hair cut, ready for the wedding. Judy was shocked and cried out "what are you doing here?!" he simply said "you have no idea what I had to go through to get here."

I couldn't hold the tears. It reminded me of the dream I had right before I graduated college, where I was a little girl sitting on his lap and he told me how proud he was of me. I believe these types of dreams are real. Real messages. I've had other dreams about my dad but only one like that. It reminded me that Judy loved my dad, not that I didn't think she did that's ridiculous, but she did and she still does, and she always will. But she let go, not because she wanted to but because she had to. She's been through so much in the last 3 years and she deserved that message from my dad, maybe even needed it. The message wasn't only for her, but for Megan, me and anyone else who loved him. Megan was so happy to hear that story on her special day, and she didn't get sad and depressed about his physical absence but felt blessed about his obvious presence. She helps me feel that way too :)

Quotes from Donald Miller

2011-06-16T12:56:00.000-07:00

Still can't get enough of this book!

While talking about writing characters in his screenplay… “I felt the way I hope God feels as he writes the world sitting over the planets and placing tiny people in tiny wombs. If I have a hope, it’s that God sat over the dark nothing and wrote you and me, specifically, into the story, and put us in with the sunset and the rainstorm as though to say ‘enjoy your place to in my story. The beauty of it means you matter and you can create within it even as I have created you.”

“If you aren’t telling a good story, nobody thinks you died too soon; they just think you died.”

“Characters have to face their greatest fears with courage. That’s what makes a story good.…Polar changes, these happy and sad things in life, are like colors God uses to draw the world.”

“It’s not an agitated Voice, but ever patient as thought it approves a million false starts.”

“When people say life is meaningless what they really mean is their life is meaningless.”

Sunsets

2011-06-16T08:34:00.000-07:00

Things I’ve learned or love about A Million Miles in a Thousand Years…

“We get robbed of the glory of life because we aren’t capable of remembering how we got here. When you are born, you wake slowly to everything. Your brain doesn’t stop growing until you turn twenty-six, so from birth to twenty-six, God is slowly turning the lights on, and you’re groggy and pointing at things saying ‘circle’ and ‘blue’ and ‘car’ and then ‘sex’ and ‘job’ and ‘health care.’ The experience is so slow you could easily come to believe that life isn’t that big of a deal, that life isn’t staggering. What I’m saying is I think that life is staggering and we’re just used to it. We are all like spoiled children no longer impressed with the gifts we’re given- it’s just another sunset, just another rainstorm moving in over the mountain, just another child being born, just another funeral.” –Donald Miller

I absolutely believe this. I try to appreciate these things in life but I know no one takes heed to the little things every time. I say the little things but aren’t these really the big things? Enormous even? If you really sit down and think about it though, if you really looked at how amazing everything around us is, we wouldn’t graze the surface; it’s incomprehensible. How do you appreciate every single sunset? Every single baby born? Every single rainstorm?

I found this interesting because the night before I read this chapter I went to my mom’s house to take a walk with her around the neighborhood. It was nice enough to take time to walk and talking with my mom. Something simple, something important to life; that I truly appreciated. On the way home from my mom’s house there are a couple farms, some white fences, rolling hills, horses, barns, etc. I have to come up a small hill and when I reach the top I can see the farm land, and I’ve always thought it was really pretty. I’ve thought about photographing it a couple of times. That night the horizon was bright orange covered in a baby blue sky and right in the middle of the road was the sun setting. It was so gorgeous; I can see it in my mind still. It was so pretty that I turned around in my car to try and get a picture of it. By the time I turned around and came back the sun was in a totally different position and that scene I saw just minutes before, had vanished. It was meant to be appreciated in that moment because seconds later it was gone. I think this happens with a lot of things in life and it might be what Miller is talking about. We are given so many gifts to appreciate and we’re way to busy with our cell phones and jobs and ipods that we miss them, because they vanish quickly.

On one hand I do appreciate them, when they happen randomly. I don’t seek them out. While in Mexico for seven days, I had no interest in getting up at 5am to see a Mexican sunrise, I saw a tequila sunrise a couple of times, but that’s as far as I went.

Slow down and enjoy the sunsets... and sunrises :)

still beautiful but not nearly as pretty as it was the first time around :)

Food Inc.

2011-06-15T19:36:00.001-07:00

I watched this documentary and they're right 'you'll never look at dinner the same way again.' I'm not going to say I'll be a full blown vegetarian again, but I will definitely be cutting way back on meat consumption. Yuck.

Or maybe since I live around farm lands and all I'll try to get meat in better places.

end of the trek

2011-06-15T08:24:00.000-07:00

I know posted a little bit of information about a local man, Brandon, who left for a trek across the country to raise money and awareness for cancer. We'll he's back and I very much enjoyed following him on-line, seeing where he was, looking at his pictures and his travels. I’ll be one of the first in line to buy the book he plans to write.

Before he left he took pictures from people whose loved ones died of cancer and he planned to leave the pictures as a trail along his journey. I went to his benefit and I took him a picture of my daddy. I loved the idea of my dad travelling with him on this amazing journey and I looked at his pictures everyday to see where my dad would end up. Every couple of days I’d see a picture of a picture in his mobile uploads, I’d click it and read the story or the person he was leaving in his path. My dad never showed up. This was a struggle for me. I never in a million years want to discount what Brandon did. It’s truly truly amazing. He went 2,200 miles which he tried to do by foot but when he got to Missouri (note that he walked/ ran 650 miles) he physically couldn't go any further. He rested for a week and did the rest by bike; he could have given up but didn’t. He has touched so many hearts, given so much hope, and just really brightened the hearts and souls of so many people. I can’t say I wasn’t disappointed that I gave a picture of my dad and it wasn’t left; I was really excited about it. I realize that’s selfish but it sucked a little for me. I guess that just wasn’t my dad’s journey. I’m far from having any hard feelings about it.

I’ve decided to leave his picture in each city on my journey through the ‘south’ as well as leaving his picture in Gatlinburg when I go for my 30th birthday. I told my best friend forever about it and she said ‘Well I guess you’re just going to have to leave his picture in Gatlinburg when we go for your birthday.’ I loved it. She knows me and my connection with Gatlinburg and how much my dad loved it there. It’s the last trip he took before he died and I wasn’t able to go with him…

I guess Brandon and his truly remarkable journey wasn’t supposed to be my dad’s; I think I’m supposed to leave him on mine…

Let's get outta this town tonight...

2011-06-14T11:57:00.000-07:00

Last year I went on a mission trip to New Orleans. I went to help people heal from the terrible tragedy that was and still is hurricane Katrina. During the trip I was on the photo team. We took pictures of families that lost everything in the storm. It was by far the most fulfilling, most amazing trip I have ever been a part of. I was on cloud nine for months after returning.

This year I regretfully decided to forgo the trip to New Orleans. I thought it was an okay decision for me when I made it, however the last couple of weeks I've really been struggling with my decision. Let me back up. When I made the decision not to go it was purely based on resources. I am a horrible fundraiser and I didn't want to end up putting what I couldn't raise on credit. I thought that was the right thing for me to do; the responsible thing to do.

I decided that since I'm working on a spiritual journey I would take a smaller trip, by myself, take pictures, write and just quiet my mind. Do some soul searching. You know like some people do when they travel around Europe but this would be the easier more cost effective version. So here's what I came up with for my trip around the south, well not south, south but more south than me...

Day 1: Home to Louisville. 1 hour 30 mins driving.
Day 2: Louisville to Nashville. 3 hours.
Day 3: Nashville to Memphis. 3 hours 30 mins. Go to the Neely's BBQ!
Day 4: Memphis to Decatur Alabama. 3 hours 30 mins

Day 5: Decatur to Chattanooga. 2 hours
Day 6: Chattanooga to Knoxville. 2 hours.
Day 7: Knoxville to Lexington. 2 hours.
Day 8: Lexington to Home. 3 hours.

Eight days might be a little bit too much so I may cut out Louisville or Lexington if needed. So the idea is to get up bright and early every morning, travel to my next destination, stop along the way to look around, take pictures, to be quiet and just think. Enjoy my surroundings. Take it all in. I'm thinking the fall might be the best time to go. Kentucky and Tennessee in the fall are so pretty.

You may be thinking "if you couldn't afford New Orleans how are you going to afford this?" Well I'm selling an old car and I'm taking my sister with me. So it will be a lot cheaper. I'm still bummed I didn't plan better to be able to go to New Orleans but I'm looking forward to getting away and doing something different.

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years...

2011-06-14T06:13:00.000-07:00

I started reading this book today on the bus, on my way to work. It was recommended to me by a person that I think is wonderful so I figured it had to be good. I'm only 30 pages in and I'm already a fan. The author Donald Miller has written another book, a memoir, and I very much want to pick that book up as well. Right now in the book they're discussing when this memoir, Blue Like Jazz, was made into a movie. I'll be looking for that on Netflix!

Because a book doesn't translate well on film Miller has to recreate himself for the film. At first he's apprehensive about this but after thinking about it he's happy about being able to recreate himself into the person he would like to be. This struck me. He described it as making himself into this more confident man, good with the ladies, etc. He puts it like this:

"I was creating the person I wanted to be, the person worth telling stories about. It never occurred to me that i could re-create my own story, my real life story, but in an evolution I had moved toward a better me. I was creating someone I could live through, the person I'd be if I redrew the world, a character that was me but flesh and soul other. And flesh and soul better too."

I loved this because immediately wanted to do the same thing. Think about the me I want to be and make it happen, live through her, become her. This is something I will do; and not just talk about. I'll have to spell out who she'll be in the weeks to come.

It's funny, he also talks about how we don't remember our lives. We remember certain things that happen but not full detail. One of his friends resorts to writing everything down to remember his life. That's what I started this blog for. Not only to write about my journey, but to remember it later in life. I have one of the worst memories known to man. Miller says in the beginning of his book that he hopes he has a good story to tell God when he gets to heaven. That his life's stories are interesting. I hope so too.

I'm going to Cancun...

2011-05-10T16:13:00.000-07:00

In 4 days!

Free

2011-04-19T08:58:00.000-07:00

Don't a lot of us just feel tied down? There are so many things that can make you feel that way. Our jobs? Cash? Emotional or physical scars? Parents? Children? School? The list could go on and it's different for everyone...

This year so far has been really good to me. My mood has improved. My outlook has improved. My smile to frown ratio has improved :) The feeling in my soul has improved. Where I used to complain I find a blessing. Still there's one thing that holds me down. Keeps me from being completely 'free.' It's a work in progress every single day and I think a wall is being chipped away. When I think about it; I smile. The journey is long and not over but it's moving along and it feels amazing...

Trek for the Cure

2011-03-24T18:52:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago I stopped by a fundraiser for a local man (pictured left) who has started his own movement for the fight against cancer. To raise money and awareness he is running/walking from Fountain Square in downtown Cincinnati to Santa Monica California. His name is Brandon Perry and he's a local club promoter who has lost one too many people to cancer.

He and I have several mutual friends on facebook and I saw what he was doing through them. I requested to be his friend to see if I could find our more information about it or help in some way. I went to his website: http://www.trekforthecause.com/ where I found that he left for his journey on April 3rd, the three year anniversary of my daddy's passing. I wrote on his facebook wall telling him how much I admired what he was doing, that my dad too has passed away from cancer and he coincidentally was leaving on the anniversary. He said if I got a picture of my father to him he would take it with him on his journey.

I took my picture to him on the day of his fundraiser at Lunar. I loved how genuine he was. Some people do good things for praise; to be noticed. I could tell right away that this was not Brandon's motives. You could tell he cared, he was truly sorry for my loss and he reminded me that his Trek for the cause was for my dad. He told me he was leaving a trail of pictures from here to California of all the pictures he'd received from people. He will be taking a picture of where he leaves my father's photo so I can see where his photo will be. He gave me a big hug and I wished him good luck.

I also stopped by his send off on fountain square yesterday. I got there pretty early so it wasn't in full swing when I was there but I've heard it was an amazing send off. I look forward to seeing where he is on his journey everyday as he updates his followers via facebook. It is such an amazing selfless thing to do and I'm not sure if he knows what it means to those of us who are effected by cancer. It means more to me than I thought it would. Thank you Brandon for being an inspiration.

I used to love motorcycles...

2011-03-24T18:12:00.000-07:00

I traveled down to south Florida in May of 2008, to visit one of the most amazing people living; Aaron. It was a month after my dad died so I was having a great time and then with the blink of an eye I was having a horrible time. I felt the best when I was on the back of his motorcycle. We drove around and the ocean breeze on my skin as we flew down the highway or on a road that ran parallel to the ocean was ah-maze-ing. I can't describe it. I guess if you like motorcycles you know what I'm trying to describe. All I know is that I was obsessed with getting one since that trip. I did a lot of thinking that year. About my dad, about loss, about life, about so many things. I thought about jumping on a bike and just riding, thinking about things with that wind at my face, more than it was probably healthy to. Of course since I never ended up buying a bike the feeling dwindled but I knew if I ever ended up on the back of a bike again that feeling would come back. I still get this feeling, kind of like that "going down the hill on a roller coaster" feeling in the pit of my stomach when I hear an engine rev by. I even used to have a saying "If I dated you and you had a bike, then you know why I dated you" lol of course that doesn't apply to A-ron :)

Tuesday night my best friend in the whole wide world called me and said "your best friend almost died today, like in real life." She had also gone down to Florida visit her stepfather, who is an avid Harley fan. He took her for a ride on the back of his bike and wrecked into a truck on the highway. She flew off the bike at 55 mph, flipped over the truck and went tumbling across the pavement. She said she couldn't be sure how many times she flipped and when she finally came to a stop she wasn't sure if she was still alive. When she realized she was she crawled to the side of the highway to her step-dad and waited for the ambulance, who was surely called by someone who saw the accident.

The good news in this story is that aside from her bruises, swelling, etc she was not majorly injured. No broken bones, no permanent damage. Her stepfather sustained more serious injuries but will be okay.

I was kind of in shock when she told me. I guess just glad she was okay. But when I really stopped to think about it, it really freaked me out. This is my very best friend in the world. She held my hand in the hospice room when my dad took his last breath. Every single detail of my life she knows. She knows me better than anyone in this world. Had she not been wearing a helmet she'd be dead. She FLEW off a motorcycle over a truck and flew across the pavement! I cannot imagine that happening to me. And she got herself up and crawled to the side of the road. I know she was scared but I know she is STRONG. I thank GOD she's okay. I wouldn't have been able to handle any other outcome. I feel that saying, you're only given what you can handle, and that must be true. Losing her would have killed me. So thank you daddy for watching over my bestest friend in the whole wide world. And thank you God for the reality check. You never ever know what tomorrow will bring. I'm becoming really good at not holding grudges, not holding onto dead weight and enjoying every second.

I think this sums it up "If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?"

Thank you Jenna for always being there for me no matter what. When I called you at 1am cause my dad was in the hospital and things weren't sounding good. You got up and went with me. You listen to every crazy story of what goes on in my life and you encourage me no matter what I choose to do. I've never had to second guess our friendship for a second, in the last 8, 9, 10 years. We've laughed and we've cried together and we've laughed until we cried. We've danced on the table in the middle of a cruise ship dining room with 1,500 people watching us shake what our mamma's gave us, had our own parking spot at vertigo, lived in my momma's basement together, we were the best damn shoe sales women Dillard's has ever seen, made Christmas snowflakes with paper and scissors while highly intoxicated, we carried out top secret missions in Gatlinburg and successfully made a grown man run screaming out into the woods from a perfectly safe cabin, we both recovered from our "Tony's," we've learned life's lessons together, and helped each other through them, we've encouraged each other and have never looked down on one another for silly decisions we might change if we could. This list could go on for days, but most importantly, we've made our father's proud. You ain't gettin' out of this life that easy! We still have to get married and have little babies at the same time and they'll grow up and fall in love with each other! We're gonna be old women, who sit and talk about old men. I love you Jennifer Grause forever and ever amen. You're the best woman I know :)

p.s. we should have a song, may I suggest :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eY6xCYplIpk

Crazy things my parents do...

2011-03-21T17:19:00.000-07:00

I've decided to create a new installment that will be a part of my blog. My mom and my step-dad have become quite adventurous in their old(er) age and they've started doing some pretty funny things.

My sister called me a couple weeks ago at around 11 o'clock at night, she said she needed help because my parents were going crazy. She said she could hear them run from their room to her room. They barged in her room and said "We're gonna do what you do!" So they got on her bed, while she was in it doing homework, and started jumping up and down yelling "HELLO MICHELLE!" while papers and books fell to the floor. She called me while this was going on, I could hear my mom in the background yelling "Hello Seeesta! Helloooo SEEESTA!" Translation- 'Hello sister.' I could just picture the two of them on my sister's bed tormenting her, while giggling at her. Proud at themselves that they got her back for times that she had jumped on theirs. My sister explained that my parents complain that she doesn't hang out with them often. She's always at school or working, but every now and then she'll go in their room and get on their bed and say ''I'm hanging out with you!" This was their way to return the favor. I literally laughed at this vision for so long that I couldn't fall asleep. I laughed about it the next day. What was the conversation they had to decide to do it? They were already in bed, so where they like "I know let's get up and go jump on Michelle's bed!" It makes me laugh again just thinking about it. :)

Today, my sister and I went for a run. I called her on my way home from work and asked her if she wanted to join me. She also invited my mother along, but she declined. She came to my house and we did a routine of jogging for a minute and walking for two, then running and so on. We did this down a major road by my house. Halfway in, during our walking part, a car coming our way slows down, honks, and two crazed people started yelling "RUN RUN RUN!" at us. Of course it was none other than the 'rents, they knew where we would be jogging/walking/running and they doubted we would actually be running. So they took the 5-10 minute drive from their house just so they could find us and yell to us, to run.

Hilarious! I'm looking forward to what's next...

Boots!

2011-03-21T08:46:00.001-07:00

I want some!

Nola 2011

2011-03-20T13:05:00.000-07:00

I've decided against Go New Orleans 2011. I can't say that I'm happy about it. Unfortunately I'm horrible at fundraising and I'm trying to do some new things financially. I am also trying to get myself involved in new volunteer opportunities locally.

I really sat down and thought about my motives to go to New Orleans this year. Last year I knew one person I went with and I was eager to get down there and help; do some good. This year I was afraid my motives were more about recreating the fun I had last year, than they were about giving back to the city. I'm still not to the point where I feel comfortable praying out loud for someone. It's still a bit odd for me. I think there are other ways that I can grow the way I did the first time in New Orleans. I'm thinking of a small road trip with my camera and my journal would do me a little better than seven 10-12 hour work days. Selfish maybe. But needed.

I'm hoping to either head back to New Orleans in 2012 or maybe somewhere overseas for a mission trip.

mmm

2011-03-18T13:49:00.001-07:00

I had my first green beer this year. Turns out it taste just like regular beer :)

Erin Go Braugh

2011-03-17T07:33:00.000-07:00

In the past couple years I've taken a real interest in finding out more about my Irish heritage. I've been saving for a trip to Ireland as well. I'm hoping to make it there next year. In honor of St. Patrick's Day I'll be headed down to Newport on the Levee to drink some green beer and have my very first ever Irish Car Bomb, lol. I know I'm late but better late than never.

A little bit of history on O'Hogan:

It has been recorded as O' Hogan, Hogan, Hoggan; this is a famous Irish surname. It derives from the Old Gaelic name O' hOgain, which means male decendant of "Ogan", a nickname which literally translates as "young man". The original namebearer, Ogan, was himself descended from the uncle of Brian Boru, High King of Ireland (1002 - 1014). Therefore the Hogan's descended from Kings and Queens of Irealand! The Hogans come from County Clare with adjacent parts of Counties Limerick and Tipperary. The chief resided in Ardcrony near Nenagh, County Tipperary, and today, the great majority of namebearers belong to that county.

Fun facts about St. Patrick's Day!

St. Patrick's Day is religious feast day and the anniversary of his death in the fifth century. The Irish have observed this day as a religious holiday for over a thousand years. On St. Patrick's Day, which falls during the Christian season of Lent, Irish families would traditionally attend church in the morning and celebrate in the afternoon. Lenten prohibitions against the consumption of meat were waived and people would dance, drink and feast—on the traditional meal of Irish bacon and cabbage.

The actual color of St. Patrick is blue. Green became associated with St. Patrick's Day during the 19th century. Green, in Irish legends, was worn by fairies and immortals, and also by people to encourage their crops to grow.

The very first St. Patrick's Day parade was not in Ireland. It was in Boston in 1737.

In Chicago, on St. Patrick's Day, the rivers are dyed green. Mayor Daley is also of Irish descent.

The phrase, "Drowning The Shamrock" is from the custom of floating the shamrock on the top of whiskey before drinking it. The Irish believe that if you keep the custom, then you will have a prosperous year.

Legend says that each leaf of the clover means something: the first is for hope, the second for faith, the third for love and the fourth for luck.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!

Just keep going...

2011-03-16T15:47:00.000-07:00

I just want to drive, I mean for months. I live off one of the last exits before civilization basically ends for a while. Before you head off to Lexington or Louisville etc. I cannot tell you how much I want to just keep going with nothing but the clothes on my back, music and my camera. I've been on several road trips, but of course there are always time restraints. Saint Louis, Gatlinburg, Chicago, Nashville, Columbus, where ever it may be. I go to meet people, to party, with hotel reservations etc. I just wanna drive, with nowhere to be, no restraints, so I can pull over and take pictures of whatever I want, talk to whom ever I want, do whatever I want. I'd even stay at those 'side of the road' motels no matter how creepy they may be. You have live a little right? I'm going to check that out, see how that might work out this year.

"life is a highway, I wanna ride it all night long"

Journey

2011-03-01T08:40:00.000-08:00

So I kind of started this spiritual journey this year. I really want to write more, and I have, but what I've been writing about has been pretty personal so I don't share it here. I thought though that there are certain things from my journey that I feel comfortable sharing, and there are things I can dig deeper into as well.

My new years resolutions have been working out well. I've been going to Crossroads every Sunday, I've only missed one because I was out of town, but I actually ended up watching the service on-line because I didn't want to miss the message! It's refreshing to go to a place that just talks to you about life, experiences and the best way to handle them. I look forward to it every week.

I started going to church because I wanted to find peace, with my dad. It's been almost 3 years and I still don't handle certain situations I think I should. Certain things make me way more upset than I think they normally would. I'm not impatient with myself. I know it's ok, but I realize it's something I want to get better at. I realize it still hinders me in certain ways. I just want to be the best me and I think it's really helping me get there. It's helped me be more patient with myself.

"We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us."

it's been inside of me all along...

2011-01-11T13:35:00.000-08:00

So one of my new years resolutions was to start going to church at least twice a month. So far the month of January is right on track. I've been going to Crossroads of course, which makes me feel good just stepping in the place with the connections I've made to it's missions and people. I went last week and this week and really enjoyed it. I guess it was just a matter of stepping out there and doing it because now I look forward to going.

Last weekend the band opened up with a song that I have always really really loved. It's called Strength Courage and Wisdom by India Arie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwR3mziAhtE&feature=fvst

If I ever feel weak or just kind of helpless this song always makes me feel better. Funny that they play this song when I'm trying to get in touch with going to church and just really feeling good about just being me. I truly can say that I'm comfortable in my skin, and love that I've become who I am after what I've gone through. I've shed some pretty heavy things in the past 6 months. I feel really good about it. I've always known I've had this tremendous Strength, Courage, and Wisdom. I just didn't always use it. I'm confident that 2011 is going to be pretty great; with this song as my soundtrack.

Fly..

2011-01-04T10:48:00.000-08:00

I was talking to a close friend of mine at work and she was talking about the birds that died in Arkansas. Then she asked me if I remembered the Beatles song called Blackbird. My heart sunk. I know that song and I'll never forget it. I can still hear my dad singing it. He sang it all the time; he'd whistle along with it. He changed the lyrics a little, he'd say 'take these broken wings and learn 'em to fly.' I miss him lots.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5CUHHGlQg0

I'm hoping to fly this year...

As I see it

Sleep in Peace Momo

U are the air in my lungs...the driving force in my soul.... a reflection of true beauty.. Besos xo,.

Guerrilla neck lookin boi

Feliz Navida!!! It's a Christmas miracle! luuuuuhhhhhh ya!

Dear BFF,I miss your face, big time. I think we should hang out one day. I fixed my netflix for you and everything.Sincerely,Your BFFP.S.- Love your face.

Just wondering why u hate me?

Spanish thanks giving Dinner, Mojica home, Thursday,bring your green hat... nuff said!

I have a surprise for you and it's electric!!!!

THANK YOOOOUUU!!!!!!!

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and sings it back to you when you have forgotten how it goes.

Happy New Year!

Citrus Body Scrub

Camp

Mischievous Elf- Round 1

This picture makes me smile.

Thankful

Elf on a Shelf

Make your house smell amazing!

fall

lazy

Hell on Heels

The Help

Cheers to 30 years!!

yum

GTL

Hilarious!

Innocent

I. Love. Huskies.

Truck Driver.

end of summer.

Week 2- Self Portrait

new obsessions

Cupcakes

picnic

Movie Montage

Tired.

Roomies

Week 1- Kenton County Fair

FNL

Mohegan Island

benign

Miche

Go Nola 2011

Trouble the Water

Week 1 Photo Project

My Sister's Keeper

Feeling a little like this lately...

New Projects

New Orleans

Swimmers

Baby Feet

Pink Cowgirl Boots

no funnel cakes?

Gypsies

Bucket List -- Part Uno

Bucket List

Brene Brown

Friends with Benefits

teacup update

sad story...

What's for dessert??

If you need a laugh....

My Old Kentucky Home

TEACUPS!!!

We're getting married!

love this...

You are not what you think...

Moonshine

Missing Nola...

You Don't Know Jack

I'm not looking...

Wishin' I was still here...

Witnessing Love and a message from above...

Quotes from Donald Miller

Sunsets

Food Inc.

end of the trek

Let's get outta this town tonight...

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years...

Dear BFF,

I miss your face, big time. I think we should hang out one day. I fixed my netflix for you and everything.

Sincerely,
Your BFF

P.S.- Love your face.